Test 7 : The Leaving Test B
Can you live without your parents?:: a person must leave father and mother,
Do you know how to leave home successfully?
Matthew 19 :
4. And He (Jesus) answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,'
5. "and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
We need to take our time to understand in detail what it means to order my life according to what Jesus says in this important verse.
His statement has three parts:
:: a man must be joined to his wife,
:: the result of leaving and joining is that they become one flesh.
Today we will continue to examine part one of the statement.
To have a successful marriage, it is necessary for you to leave your father and mother.
Leaving home implies a number of things.
On my part it means:
I am able financially to feed, clothe and house myself.
I am able to make my own decisions in a responsible manner.
On my parents' part leaving means:
They are willing to let me go so that I can live my own life.
They are not going to meddle and try to run my life from a distance.
You can see that leaving is not a simple matter at all!
That is why sometimes, it takes real effort and diplomacy to leave successfully. This is because there are some of us who are not willing to take responsibility for our own lives: we always want our parents input as if we are still children.
Also there are some parents who refuse to acknowledge that their child is now grown and these unwise parents want to keep on making decisions as though the child was still small and dependent.
To know whether you are ready to leave home, ask yourself the following questions:
Is it possible for me to live on my own without being dependent on another person to make my decisions for me?
Am I capable of making sensible decisions for my life?
If you cannot live without being dependent on someone else to make decisions for you, then you have not yet reached the place where you know who you ought to marry. You need to grow up a lot more before you consider marriage. You need to do this in order to be truly single.
Leaving can never be easy because these attachments are deep.
That is why the grown-up child has to leave without becoming rebellious or dishonouring his parents. And also the parents have to come to terms with the fact that their child is grown and they have to let go and allow the child to leave in freedom, if they are to retain a healthy relationship with the adult child.
This is why tears are often shed at weddings: because leaving is never easy.
Ask God to help you to leave home successfully. That means preserving a good relationship with your parents while taking full responsibility for your own life.
True Love means
always acting with the highest good of the
other person in mind.
Father, thank You for parents who have cared about me all my life.
Now that I want to make a way for myself in life as an adult, give me wisdom to continue having a good relationship with them even though I am leaving home.
Thank You for new adventures in life,
in Jesus' name,
The First Marriage
4 This is the story of the creation of the sky and the earth. When the LORD God first made the earth and the sky,
5 there were still no plants on the earth. Nothing was growing in the fields because the LORD God had not yet made it rain on the land. And there was no person to care for the ground . . .
7 Then the LORD God took dust from the ground and formed a man from it. He breathed the breath of life into the man's nose, and the man became a living person.
8 Then the LORD God planted a garden in the east, in a place called Eden, and put the man he had formed into it.
9 The LORD God caused every beautiful tree and every tree that was good for food to grow out of the ground . . .
10 A river flowed through Eden and watered the garden . . .
18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him." . . .
21 So the LORD God caused the man to sleep very deeply, and while he was asleep, God removed one of the man's ribs.
Then God closed up the man's skin at the place where he took the rib.
22 The LORD God used the rib from the man to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to the man.
23 And the man said, "Now, this is someone whose bones came from my bones, whose body came from my body.
I will call her 'woman,' because she was taken out of man."
24 So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body.
25 The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed.
(New Century Bible)