The first thing we MUST KNOW is that True Love is NOT first of all a nice warm FEELING deep inside our being. Nor is True Love necessarilya deep attraction to another person. Instead, True Love is judged by how we ACT TOWARD our loved one; and how they acttoward us.
We must be able to talk things through together. I must be able to be reasoned with. I must be able to appreciate that spouse may probably have a completely different point of view.
23 "This is it!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is 'woman' because she was taken out of a man."
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife in such a way that the two become one person.
25 Now although the man and his wife were both naked, neither of them was embarrassed or ashamed. (The Living Bible)
1 Corinthians 13:
4 Love is very patient and kind,
never jealous or envious,
never boastful or proud,
5 never haughty or selfish or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable or touchy.
It does not hold grudges and
will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.
6 It is never glad about injustice,
but rejoices whenever truth wins out. . .
11 It's like this:
when I was a child I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I became a man my thoughts grew far beyond those of my childhood, and now I have put away the childish things. (The Living Bible)
There are personal skill you both must develop, if you and your spouse are to have a successful marriage. These skills are listed above in bold text.
If I am unable to talk things through with my spouse
If I cannot be reasoned with;
If I am unable to understand that my spouse probably has a completely different point of view from mine, and if I am unable to appreciate that; then I need according to 1 Corinthians 13 :11 to grow beyond the thinking and reasoning of a child, and I need to become an adult in attitude and thinking..
One of the most detrimental attitudes to any marriage is:
I am always right
I must have my own way at all costs.
These attitudes are the mark of a child. They are not the outlook of an adult.
If, while you were growing up in your parents' home, they were
not able to talk over matters with each other sensibly;
they were unreasonable with each other;
and they never tried to see each other's point of view, then you probably thought that was how marriage was supposed to be.
However, that's not true of a successful marriage, and both husband and wife need to work on themselves to leave behind those attitudes, as Genesis 2 : 24 says we must do.
Leaving my father and mother not only means setting up my own home away from my parents. It also means leaving behind the attitudes which are ungodly and which make marriage difficult and unhappy for one or both spouses.
Father in heaven, help me to see my attitudes the way You see them. Teach me how to give up the childish attitudes which are hampering my marriage. Grow me up to be an adult in mind and heart, in Jesus' mighty name, Amen.
There's a New Thought here tomorrow, God willing. See you then!